Possibilities, Potential Outcomes, Factors, and Mitigations to Perceived Barriers

Possibility #1:

There is nothing weird at all about the clouds I see and my perception of them being peculiar is simply that – my perception. There may be value in my inquiry as an art project exploring the way the natural world is seen and experienced in the context of being a person with neurodiversity and experiential factors that impact perspective and meaning-making. 

Potential Outcomes: 

Recognition as an artist, ability to support oneself as an artist through platforms such as Patreon, direct contributions, individual or group consultation relating to perceptual experiences, creativity, and neurodiversity?

Factors: 

• Variable social energies and neurodiversity factors that impact attention, executive function, communication and connection are a big barrier to my being successful in ‘the art world.’ Lifestyle and community participation preferences err toward semi-near-reclusive/almost-hermitic, only engaging in select purposeful and/or inspired social endeavors, or things I absolutely have to show up for per requirement or consideration to other’s needs. I don’t like to indulge in most typical entertainments, and am genuinely socially vulnerable in that it does not occur to me that someone could be predatory or dangerous. It blows my mind when I think about all the fucked up things people do to one another. Seems dis-real. I don’t get it.

• I hold valid [read: non-delusional] concerns and fears as a human being who has watched the world change in alarming ways at an alarming rate over the course of a relatively short life time. I consider myself rational in wanting to address and contemplate what I understand to be the core drivers of avoidable suffering the world. I acknowledge that my ideas are flawed, and I continue to make efforts to refine them, to take into account the context within which ideas arise. I am not afraid to be wrong, or to look dumb. I tried to prove God on the internet with pictures of clouds, remember? I personally, professionally, and politically understand and believe the norms and institutions that define societies, economies, and life outcomes for human beings and everything that is alive and ancient on this planet to be constructions – intentional and incidental, circumstantial, reactive. I believe that current economic constructions are disadvantageous for life on planet earth, and that many of these constructions may undermine and ultimately corrode – under the pressures of living in transactional, commodity-oriented economies – the best of what it is to be human and alive.

• I have an enormous amount of cloudform documentation and experiential reflection work that may be worthy of sharing and that could – with help – potentially be shared through multiple dynamic media projects (books across several genre’s/disciplines, digital content, brief how-to guides, endless photo collections to play with, recordings of readings, artwork spin-offs, research papers, etc.)

• As a person who is not trained in archiving and cataloging artwork, writing, and photographs, my work is not organized and is currently stored across several digital repositories. 

The thought of self-promotion and marketing of my work and myself as an artist creates a squeamish, anxious feeling that I do not like. I do not want to do any of that. I do not want to be an influencer in order to share my art and be taken seriously and, yet, do not want to continue to just drift along out in the ethers as some unrefined weirdo. I, personally, am not desirous of attention. I mostly want to be left alone. However, I do believe that the work I do is important, and that it matters. Therefore, as a steward of this work, I must bring attention to the work. However, there are many different forms of attention and it is important to me to work with integrity, and with respect to the work. I am not going to seek to engage people’s attention with gimmicks, schticks, novelty hooks, charismatic manipulation, or other forms of popular hustle promotion involving gratuitous use of my face and an orchestrated outward personality that makes the value of my work secondary to my physical attributes or participation on social media.

THIS WORK MAY BE RELEVANT/INTERESTING TO:

1. People with neurodiversity (giftedness, twice exceptionality, learning and processing differences, sensory integration differences, stress vulnerability due to adverse experiences) factors that impact mental health and community inclusion
2. People who have struggled with serious mental health challenges
3. People who are interested in art and artistic process
4. People who are curious about spiritual experiences that occur in connection with the natural world
5. People who study or practice in mental health disciplines
6. People who are curious about God and enjoy narratives about God-experiences
7. People who are not down with exploitative capitalism and who want to save oceans and the rest of the planet while addressing grievous violations of human rights throughout history and around the world.
8. People who want to kill themselves
9. People who have big visionary ideas that might be crazy and yet are persistent
10. People who believe that something like God manifests in clouds

Please note that I have a wariness of people who believe things strongly and, thus, feel very cautious about saying anything about God anywhere, because some (very confused) people will sometimes want to kill a person over stuff like that.

Mitigations

Help.

(No. Really. Help.)

• The possible existence of people who have connections in the art world and who may appreciate the opportunity to assist a differently-abled artist whose disabilities have created disadvantageous social and economic impact and who has demonstrated a commitment to their work as an artist despite having encountered constraints and discouragements. 

• There may be value in that I don’t approach my work as an artist in the way that a trained and identified artist might. Perhaps my eccentricities and differences/disabilities may create interest in my work. I am undiscovered and, thus, the person/people who gets/get to discover me and help me to find my niche in the art world may value the chance to work with someone who is not typical in their experience, visibility, trajectory and goals, not to mention in their approach to art practice and creative process.

• My work may have value in fields of psychology and theology as it pertains to profound spiritual experiences and human consciousness. My work may have value in ecopsychology, as well, as it relates to learning how to see the natural world in new ways and exploring potential pathways for everyday people to consider our collective human relationship with the planet we live on.

• My work could, at the very least, create interdisciplinary dialogue and maybe help me to connect (as a mental health professional and CPSS) with people who might be losing their minds about God, purpose, and perceived signs so that they might have access to information, skills, and practices that can help them to a) not wreck their lives plummeting into delusion, and b) not create harm by acting from a state of confusion, desperation, and distorted understanding of what is real and what is not.

If you have ideas about this project, information you think I ought to be aware of, or would like to offer sincere and non-exploitative, not-shady assistance, please email: faithrr@pm.me

Thank you for your time and attention in considering Possibility #1.